Anyone Who Would Laugh At A Recital

Have You Ever Noticed How They Keep Improving Your Laundry Detergent, But They Still Can't Get Those Blue Flakes Out? Why Do We Trust Them To Get Our Clothes Clean? These Guys Can't Even Get The Detergent White!

The Blessing In Life Is When You Find The Torture You Are Comfortable With. That's Marriage, It's Kids, It's Work, It's Exercise. Find The Torture You're Comfortable With And You'll Do Well. You've Mastered That, You've Mastered Life.

Then, Finally, The Third Year, Begging The Parents, I Got The Superman Halloween Costume. Cardboard Box, Self-made Top, Mask Included. Remember The Rubber Band On The Back Of That Mask? That Was A Quality Item There, Wasn't It? That Was Good For About 10 Seconds Before It Snapped Out Of That Cheap Little Staple They Put It In There With.

I Know What I'm Doing, Just Show Me Somebody Naked.

A Two-year-old Is Kind Of Like Having A Blender, But You Don't Have A Top For It.