A Two-year-old Is Kind Of Like Having

I Have A Nice Bookshelf In My Office, But Not My House. I'm Crass, But Not That Crass.

Why Does Mcdonald's Have To Count Every Burger That They Sell? What Is Their Ultimate Goal? Do They Want Cows To Surrender Voluntarily?

I Have A Friend Who's Collecting Unemployment Insurance. This Guy Has Never Worked So Hard In His Life As He Has To Keep This Thing Going. He's Down There Every Week, Waiting On The Lines And Getting Interviewed And Making Up All These Lies About Looking For Jobs. If They Had Any Idea Of The Effort And Energy That He Is Expending To Avoid Work, I'm Sure They'd Give Him A Raise.

Once You Start Doing Only What You've Already Proven You Can Do, You're On The Road To Death.

But I Don't Want To Be A Pirate!