Al Gore Has Found A New Job.

Did You Know That 10% Of All Americans Have Not Had Sex In 5 Years? I Didn't Know There Were So Many Republicans.

John Kerry Suspended His Campaign For Five Days This Week In Honor Of President Reagan. And Right Now, He's Ahead In The Polls. How's That Make Him Feel? Disappears For A Week And He's Up In The Polls. What Else Can He Do Now But Go Into Hiding.

Services Were Held Today For Ken Lay - Convicted Thief And Crook Ken Lay.they Folded His Arms Across His Chest And Sowed His Sleeves Together So He Couldn't Put His Hands In Anyone's Pockets When They Walked By. You Know When They Say In A Eulogy, "you're All Richer For Having Known Him." I Don't Think They're Going To Hear That.

Barack Obama Spent His First Day As President-elect Putting Together His Transition Team. And If You Believe Msnbc, By Tomorrow He Will Have Chosen All 12 Of His Disciples.

At The Sharper Image Store, I Saw A Body Fat Analyzer. Didn't That Used To Be Called A Mirror?