According To Statistics, It's A Lot Easier

I Know A Man Who Gave Up Smoking, Drinking, Sex, And Rich Food. He Was Healthy Right Up To The Day He Killed Himself.

Who Cares What Entertainers On The Air Think About International Affairs? Who Would Want To Hear Me About Vietnam? They Can Hear All They Want From People With Reason To Be Respected As Knowledgeable.

Ronald Reagan Just Signed The New Tax Law. But I Think He Was In Hollywood Too Long. He Signed It, 'best Wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

We Have Two Kinds Of Air: Regular And Chunky Style.

Americans, Too Many Of Them, Take Themselves Too Seriously. You're Going To Get Rapped - By The Viewers, By The Sponsors And By The Network Brass - If You Joke About Doctors, Lawyers, Dentists, Scientists, Bus Drivers, I Don't Care Who. You Can't Make A Joke About Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, Politicians, Dogs Or Cats. In Fact, Politicians, Dogs And Cats Are The Most Sacred Institutions In America.