A Grandparent Will Accept Your Calls From

It Is Not Until You Become A Mother That Your Judgment Slowly Turns To Compassion And Understanding.

Never Order Food In Excess Of Your Body Weight.

When Your Mother Asks, 'do You Want A Piece Of Advice?' It Is A Mere Formality. It Doesn't Matter If You Answer Yes Or No. You're Going To Get It Anyway.

House Guests Should Be Regarded As Perishables: Leave Them Out Too Long And They Go Bad.

Being A Child At Home Alone In The Summer Is A High-risk Occupation. If You Call Your Mother At Work Thirteen Times An Hour, She Can Hurt You.