A Fart Is Just Your Arse Applauding.

I Don't Believe In Angels And I Have Trouble With The Whole God Thing. I Don't Want To Say I Don't Believe In God, But I Don't Think I Do. But I Believe In People Who Do.

If You Don't Know How To Meditate At Least Try To Spend Some Time Every Day Just Sitting.

If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be No More Folksingers.

A Mate Of Mine Has Just Told Me He's Shagging His Girlfriend And Her Twin, I Said How Can You Tell Them Apart, He Said "her Brothers Got A Moustache!"

Before You Judge A Man, Walk A Mile In His Shoes. After That Who Cares?... He's A Mile Away And You've Got His Shoes!