If You Don't Know How To Meditate

On George W Bush: That Man Sits At That Desk In The White House With The Button That Can End The World. My Father's Younger Than Him And We Don't Give Him The Controls For The Television.

Learn To Feel Sorry For Music Because, Although It Is The International Language, It Has No Swear Words.

What Always Staggers Me Is That When People Blow Their Noses, They Always Look Into Their Hankies To See What Came Out. What Do They Expect To Find?

If You're Going To Do An Interview About A Movie Or Anything Like That, You're Vulnerable. You Say Stupid Things. Or If You're Applying For A Green Card You Feel Very Vulnerable And You're Likely To Spout Out Something Stupid In The Middle Of It All.

A Mate Of Mine Has Just Told Me He's Shagging His Girlfriend And Her Twin, I Said How Can You Tell Them Apart, He Said "her Brothers Got A Moustache!"