You've Got To Be In A Bad

Comedians Walk Out, Get A Feel For The Crowd. If It's Not Going Good, We Change Directions. If We Got To Drag Your Momma Into This Thing, We Will. Whatever We Got To Do.

There Has Been Nothing More Impactful On My Life And Meaningful To Me Than The Introduction Of Christ. That, Hands Down, Blows Away Every Joke I've Ever Written.

The First Time I Saw My Wife, Marjorie, I Was Doing Stand-up In Memphis, And She Was Sitting In The Front Row. Afterward, I Walked Up And Said, "ma'am, I'm Going To Marry You One Day". And 15 Years Later, I Did.

A Real Man Is Happy And Eager To Live By Your Rules, As Long As He Knows What The Rules Are And He's Sure That Abiding By Those Rules Will Help Keep The Woman He Loves Happy

The Only Way Woman Can Truly Be Completely Satisfied Is To Get Herself Four Different Men--an Old One, An Ugly One, A Mandingo, And A Gay Guy.