You Were Supposed To Empathize With Your

May The Irs Find That You Deduct Your Pet Sheep As An Entertainment Expense.

Confucius Is Like The Torah, Rules To Follow. And Lao-tzu Is Even More Conservative, Saying That If You Do Nothing You Won't Break Any Rules. You Have To Let Tradition Fall Sometime, You Have To Take Action, You Have To Eat Bacon.

Then Someone Started Pounding On The Door. And Not A Little "hey, What's Up?" Pound. Like There Was A Big Sale On Door Pounds Down At The Pound Outlet. Buy One, Get One Free At Pounds-n-stuff. --being The Journal Of Abby Normal

If They'd Been Dogs, They Would Have All Been In The Yard Eating Grass And Trying To Yak Up Whatever Was Making Them Feel So Lousy. Not A Bone Gnawed, Not A Ball Chased-all Tails Went Unwagged. Oh, Life Is A Fast Cat, A Short Leash, A Flea In That Place Where You Just Can't Scratch.

He Invented Kung Fu When Translated To English Means Method By Which Short, Bald Guys Can Kick The Bejeezus Out Of You.