You’re Not An Adult At All -

I'm Just A Guy Who Happens To Work In Public From Time To Time. I've Built A Reputation As An Established Comic, Not As A Celebrity - A Celebrity Is Someone Who Is Famous But Doesn't Do Anything.

The Measure Of A Conversation Is How Much Mutual Recognition There Is In It; How Much Shared There Is In It. If You're Talking About What's In Your Own Head, Or Without Thought To What People Looking And Listening Will Feel, You Might As Well Be In A Room Talking To Yourself.

I Don't Mind Most Religious People, I Talk To Them. I Listen To Them, You Know, Banging On. "i Prayed Very Hard And Then The Fairy Came." "did He? Good. Have A Biscuit." I Only Get Annoyed When They Try And Make Me See The Fairy. "you Have To Let The Fairy Into Your Heart." Look, I Wouldn't Let Him Into My Garden, Okay? I'd Shoot Him On Sight, If He Existed, Which He Doesn't. Now Have Another Biccie And Be Quiet, Will You Please?

I'm Just Trying To Understand What's Around Me As Much As Anyone Else Is, Really. To Draw A Bead On A Moving Target.

Everybody Does That Now. We All Take Pics... You Do The Same With Holiday Photos. You Record Something To Look Back On It, Even Though You’re Not Really There When You’re Taking The Picture 'cause You’re Too Busy Recording It; So You Retrospectively Go To Look Back On Where You Weren’t And Tell Yourself You Had A Good Time.