You Might Be A Redneck If Your

I Got My Wife A Mood Ring. It Works Real Good! When Shes In A Good Mood It Turns Blue, But When Shes In A Bad Mood Theres A Red Mark Across My Forehead

I Hope Someday We Can Stamp Out Illiteracy In America. Of Course You'll Have To Kill Alot Of My Relatives To Do It.

You Might Be A Redneck If...you Think That John Deere Green, Ford Blue, And Primer Gray Are The Three Of The Primary Colors.

When You Get To Your Third Millionth Frequent Flyer Mile, I Think Something Snaps In Your Brain.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Bumper Sticker Says, My Other Car Is A Combine.