You Might Be A Redneck If You've

I Hope Someday We Can Stamp Out Illiteracy In America. Of Course You'll Have To Kill Alot Of My Relatives To Do It.

Redneck Is: The Glorious Absence Of Sophistication

I Actually Had A Chance To Be In Delta Farce, But I Couldn't Do It Because I Read The Script.

I Know If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!