You Live With Life's Disappointments And Learn

I Tell Ya, I Knew My Morning Wasn't Going Right. When I Put On My Shirt The Button Fell Off, When I Picked Up My Briefcase, The Handle Fell Off, I Tell Ya, I Was Afraid To Go To The Bathroom.

I Told My Dentist My Teeth Are Going Yellow. He Told Me To Wear A Brown Tie.

I Recently Had Double-bypass Surgery. As They Wheel You In, The Doctor Always Gives You A Last Look. You Know That Look. That Look Of Confidence To Make You Feel Good. I Always Say To Every Doctor, If I Don't Make It, I'll Never Know It.

I Stuck My Head Out The Window And Got Arrested For Mooning.

She Was So Fat That Her Clothes Are Made By Omar The Tent Maker.