You Know Who Must Be Very Secure

Today The United States Has Admitted That After Months And Months Of Searching, We Still Have No Idea Where Osama Bin Laden Is. Osama Bin Laden? We Can't Even Find Kenneth Lay.

Do You Know Who Will Be In Charge Of Health Care? The Irs. You Thought Getting Audited Was Bad? Wait Until Your Next Prostate Exam.

Pundits Are Saying That President Obama Is Starting To Lose Support Among His Own Party. To Give You An Idea Of How Bad It's Gotten, Today Jimmy Carter Compared Him To Jimmy Carter.

Elections Officials Here In California Are Concerned That Having 247 Candidates Would Require A Ballot So Long It Would Be Difficult To Count. Today In Florida They Said, 'what? You Count The Ballots?'

When Rick Perry Was Told About Kim Jong Il, He Said, 'i Never Heard Of Him, But Then Again, I Don't Listen To That Rap.'