You Know I Have Been Issued A

There Is No More Embarrassing Thing In My Life Than The Fact That I Have Actually Uttered The Phrase, 'i Would Like To Order The Ginsu Knife.'

It Reminds Me Of Like This Pathetic Friend That Everybody Had When They Were A Little Kid Who Would Let You Borrow Any Of His Stuff If You Would Just Be His Friend. That's What The Library Is. A Government Funded Pathetic Friend.

I'll Tell You One Of The Great Activities Is Skateboarding. To Learn To Do A Skateboard Trick, How Many Times Do You Gotta Get Something Wrong Til You Get It Right? ...and You Hurt Yourself, And You Learn To Do That Trick, Now You Got A Life Lesson. Every Time I See Those Skateboard Kids, I Think 'those Kids'll Be Alright.'

The Hardest Thing In Comedy Is To Have The Biggest Laugh At The End, And It’s The Most Satisfying Thing.

Then, Finally, The Third Year, Begging The Parents, I Got The Superman Halloween Costume. Cardboard Box, Self-made Top, Mask Included. Remember The Rubber Band On The Back Of That Mask? That Was A Quality Item There, Wasn't It? That Was Good For About 10 Seconds Before It Snapped Out Of That Cheap Little Staple They Put It In There With.