You Know How Many Stunning Women Told

They Call It Football, But The Object Of The Game Is To Bash The Other Guy So Hard That He's Eventually Carried Off The Field On A Stretcher. I Can't Watch Football Anymore. My Psychiatrist Said It's Better That Way. I Used To Watch A Game, See The Players In A Huddle - And Think They Were Talking About Me.

The New York Times Distorts And Defrauds The News And Then Claims To Be Impartial. They Never Give An Even-handed Version Of The News - That's The Last Thing They'd Ever Do.

A Schmuck Is A General Term Of Disrespect. It's A Term Of Contempt And Derision. It Applies To A Lot Of People.

The Clintons Represent The Highest Level Of Corruption, But No One Has The Courage To Mention It. Instead They Talk About Rudy Giuliani. Over A Lifetime Of Excellent Service, There's Never Been A Hint Of Corruption In His Behavior But Everybody Investigates Him.

I Don't Believe That Anybody Has Come To A Conclusion On Why Something Is Funny. It's Funny Because It's Ridiculous And It's Ridiculous For Different Reasons At Different Times.