You Know, Barack Obama The Last Ten

Did You Hear About This Genius That Got On A Plane And Set Fire To His Feet? Turns Out He Had Bombs In His Shoes And The Problem All Started When The Flight Attendants Asked Him Nicely To Extinguish His Feet. He Was Wearing Exploding Sneakers. The New Nike Air-jihads!

Mitt Romney, Two-time Republican Presidential Candidate, Is Going To Fight Evander Holyfield For Charity. I Hope They Save Some Of That Money For Funeral Expenses.

New Republican Presidential Candidate Jon Huntsman Is Fluent In Chinese. In A Short Period Of Time The Republicans Have Come Quite A Long Way. The Last Republican President Wasn't Even Fluent In English.

Dingoes, Jackals, Skunks, Vipers And Weasel Are Now Illegal In New York City. Well Great, Who's Going To Run Cbs?

Here's Some News From Afghanistan. We're Sending More Troops To Seal Up The Borders. Can We Try That Here? Three Months, 12,000 Pounds Of Bombs And Billions And Billions Of Dollars And The Highest Ranking Enemy We've Captured So Far Is An American.