You Don't Get Married To Get Sex.

You May Be A Redneck If . . . You Think You Are An Entrepreneur Because Of The "dirt For Sale" Sign In The Front Yard.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Biggest Ambition In Life Is To Git That Big Ole Coon. The One What Hangs 'round Over Yonder, Back'ah Bubba's Barn.

Nowadays You Can't Even Spank Your Kids. No, Gotta Give 'em A Time Out. My Dad Would Take Time Out Of His Busy Day... To Whip Our Ass.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

You Might Be A Redneck If You See A Sign That Says Say No To Crack And It Reminds You To Pull Your Jeans Up.