You Can't Teach Somebody How To Be

Worrying About Tomorrow Is The Best Way To Screw Up Today.

I Eat Meat Because Meat Tastes Like Murder, And Murder Tastes Pretty Dam Good!

I Really, Really Like 'eastbound & Down.' It's One Of The Few Things That Makes Me Laugh.

We Live In A Country Where John Lennon Takes Eight Bullets, Yoko Ono Is Walking Right Beside Him And Not One Hits Her. Explain That To Me!

It Says On The Back Of The Nyquil Box, 'may Cause Drowsiness.' It Should Say, 'don't Make Any Plans, Ok? Kiss Your Family And Friends Good-bye.'