Yeah, I Am A Character Actor.

I Do Want Everyone To Feel Comfortable. That's Why I'd Like To Talk To You About Jesus.

You Ever Read An Article, And At The Bottom, It Says, 'continued On Page Six'? I'm , 'not For Me. I'm Done.'

I Love The Impatience Of New York... You Ever Had Somebody Not Ask You For Directions, But Demand Them? You're Just Innocently Walking Down The Street, You Hear A Horn, All Of A Sudden Some Guy's Like, 'holland Tunnel!!!' ...you Know, Like You Were Supposed To Fax This Guy Directions. Suddenly, You're Wasting His Time.

Steakhouses Sort Of Have This Old-school Nature To Them; They're Like Museums Full Of Good Food. It's Fun Hearing The Waiter Share His Expertise On The Different Cuts Of Beef And How They're Going To Cut Up Your Baked Potato.

Stand-up Comedy In The End, Unlike The Rest Of The Entertainment Industry, Is A Meritocracy. There's A Certain Level Of Undeniability You Can Work Toward.