Would You Let The Aliens Land, Please?

I've Been On What I Call My Ufo Tour, Which Means, Like Ufos, I Too Have Been Appearing In Small Southern Towns In Front Of A Handful Of Hillbillies Lately.

I Was In Australia....lotta Leg Room Down Under. Apartments: Dollar A Month. 2000-acre Den....think Of The Parties.

I Was Over In Australia During Easter, Which Was Really Interesting. You Know, They Celebrate Easter The Exact Same Way We Do, Commemorating The Death And Resurrection Of Jesus By Telling Our Children That A Giant Bunny Rabbit Left Chocolate Eggs In The Night. Now I Wonder Why We're F-ked Up As A Race. I've Read The Bible. I Can't Find The Word "bunny" Or "chocolate" Anywhere In The F-king Book.

If You Want To Understand A Society, Take A Good Look At The Drugs It Uses. And What Can This Tell You About American Culture? Well, Look At The Drugs We Use. Except For Pharmaceutical Poison, There Are Essentially Only Two Drugs That Western Civilization Tolerates: Caffeine From Monday To Friday To Energize You Enough To Make You A Productive Member Of Society, And Alcohol From Friday To Monday To Keep You Too Stupid To Figure Out The Prison That You Are Living In.

But Where Did This Veneration Of Childbirth Come From? I Missed That Meeting. Childbirth Is Wonderful, Childbirth Is A Miracle. Wrong. It's No More A Miracle Than Eating Food And A Turd Coming Out Your Ass.