With Any Child Entering Adolescence, One Hunts

Verbal Ability Is A Highly Overrated Thing In A Guy, And It's Our Pathetic Need For It That Gets Us Into So Much Trouble.

My Closet Is Full Of Sad Little Scripts That Didn't Get Made That Have Sad Endings. It's Very Hard To Get A Movie Made That Has A Sad Ending.

A Lot Of College Graduates Approach Me About Becoming Screenwriters. I Tell Them, 'do Not Become A Screenwriter, Become A Journalist,' Because Journalists Go Into Worlds That Are Not Their Own. Kids Who Go To Hollywood Write Coming-of-age Stories For Their First Scripts, About What Happened To Them When They Were Sixteen. Then They Write The Summer Camp Script. At The Age Of Twenty-three They Haven't Produced Anything, And That's The End Of The Career.

Maintenance Is What You Have To Do Just So You Can Walk Out The Door Knowing That If You Go To The Market And Bump Into A Guy Who Once Rejected You, You Won't Have To Hide Behind A Stack Of Canned Food. I Don't Mean To Be Too Literal About This.

When You Slip On A Banana Peel, People Laugh At You. But When You Tell People You Slipped On A Banana Peel, It's Your Laugh.