Winning The Nobel Prize Does Not Automatically

Obamacare Takes Effect In Less Than Eight Months. Do You Realize What This Means? If You Go To The Emergency Room Now, You'll Be Covered By The Time You Finally See A Doctor.

Here's How It Works: The President Makes Decisions. He's The Decider. The Press Secretary Announces Those Decisions, And You People Of The Press Type Those Decisions Down. Make, Announce, Type. Just Put 'em Through A Spell Check And Go Home. The Greatest Thing About This Man Is He's Steady. You Know Where He Stands. He Believes The Same Thing Wednesday That He Believed On Monday, No Matter What Happened Tuesday. Events Can Change; This Man's Beliefs Never Will.

I'd Forgotten What An Honest Sandwich It Is. For Those Of You Not Familiar, 'blt' Stands For 'bacon, Lettuce, And Tomato.' A Lot Of People Think The 'b' Stands For 'bread,' And I Can Understand Someone Not Wanting A Lettuce And Tomato Sandwich. But, The Bread Is Implied In The Word 'sandwich.' Anyway, It's An American Original. Everyone Should Have A Blt As Soon As They Can.

I Just Think Rosa Parks Was Overrated. Last Time I Checked, She Got Famous For Breaking The Law.

President Bush Has Embarked On An Eight-day Tour Of The Continent. He Hopes This One Goes Better Than The Other Ones He's Made Recently. Obviously He's Not Doing That Well In North America [on Screen: '36% Approval'], His South American Trip Had A Few Bumps [on Screen: 'angry Mobs Of Torch-carrying Bumps'], Europe Seems To Think The President Doesn't Care What They Think, But Hey, Who Cares What They Think? They Could At Least Thank Him For What He's Done For Their Burning Effigy Industry.