Why Would We Go To War On

A Mother Needs To Be In The Home Even When The Kids Aren’t. A Messy House Sends A Coded Message To Children: “i’m Not Loveable. Otherwise Mother Would Dust.

Science Attacks Our Most Cherished Opinions. Opinions Which Come Straight From Our Collective Gut. Oh, Wait, According To Gastroenterologists, The Only Thing That Comes From The Gut Is Waste Left From The Digestion Of Food. That’s Right, “waste.” I Guess That Means That Scientists Literally Think Our Opinions Should Be Flushed Down The Toilet!

The Fate Of Our Country Is Now In The Hands Of People Who Don't Think About What They Want Until They Get Right Up To The Register At Mcdonald's.

...why Were You Happier When You Were A Kid? Because You Didn't Know Anything. The More You Know, The Sadder You Get.

If I Had One Wish, It Would Be For Self-drying Pants. Wait -- No! Unlimited Wishes! How Do I Return These Stupid Pants?!