Why Hate Someone For The Color Of

If You Do Good Work, It Tends To Stick Around. People Still Come Up To Me And Say, "'the Ref' Is My Favorite Christmas Movie."

If You're Over 52 Years Old And You're On Facebook, Do Us All A Favor And Log Off Now.

I Had A Relationship With An Italian Chick That Was Built On Just Fighting And Sex. As Much As All Women Won't Let Go Of Stuff, Italian Girls Won't Let Go Of Anything. And She Punched Really Hard. I Got Tired Of The Arguing It Took To Get To The Sex.

I'm Not Saying Being A Comedian Is Brain Surgery, But It Is Definitely - It's Like Being A Carpenter. You Learn How To Make Tables And Chairs. You Have To Have The Right Tools, And You Have To Know How To Put The Thing Together, Right?

I Don't Watch 'american Idol.' I Don't Watch Any Of That Stuff.