While Many Comics Have A Secret Persona,

I Know It's A Cliche, But The Whole Family Is Just Whacked. I Mean, We're All Out Of Our Minds. They're The Funniest, Most Eccentric Bizarre People I've Ever Met, My Siblings.

The Two Things That Can Hurt You Are If You Need Money Or If You Need Fame. Those Are The Things That Can Be Your Achilles' Heel. But If You Don't Need Money And You Don't Need Fame, Then You're Free.

You Know, Sometimes You Can't Just Take An Armadillo, Put It In The Barn, Light It On Fire And Expect It To Make Licorice.

Am I Not Turtley Enough For The Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!

I Really Enjoy Being A Dad, And Maybe I Took It Too Seriously, But I Love Being Around My Kids.