Whenever I Wear Something Expensive It Looks

It Seems To Me That Islam And Christianity And Judaism All Have The Same God, And He's Telling Them All Different Things.

I Like Salvador Dali And Rene Magritte. I Also Like The Scottish Artist John Byrne, Another Surrealist.

I Don't Think I've Ever Died On Stage. I've Had Jokes That Died On Stage. I've Told A Joke And Absolutely Nothing. They Didn't Know It Was The End Of The Joke.

Scottish-americans Tell You That If You Want To Identify Tartans, It's Easy - You Simply Look Under The Kilt, And If It's A Quarter-pounder, You Know It's A Mcdonald's.

Sex Therapist Claims That The Most Effective Way To Arouse Your Man Is To Spend 10 Minutes Licking His Ears!! Personally, I Think Its Bollocks!!