When Your Kid Is Being Selfish Or

Some Entertainers Don't Pay Attention To What's Going On Around Them.

Stand-up Is Probably The Most Solo Performance In Art.

I Love Being Divorced. Every Year Has Been Better Than The Last. By The Way, I'm Not Saying Don't Get Married. If You Meet Somebody, Fall In Love And Get Married. Then Get Divorced. Because That's The Best Part. Divorce Is Forever! It Really Actually Is. Marriage Is For How Long You Can Hack It. But Divorce Just Gets Stronger Like A Piece Of Oak. Nobody Ever Says 'oh, My Divorce Is Falling Apart, It's Over, I Can't Take It.'

Sorry - Americans Only Buy Things That Come From Suffering. They Just Enjoy It More When They Know Someone's Getting Hurt.

I Spend Enough Time Onscreen Looking Hangdog And Depressed.