When You’re A Bed Wetter There’s Only

Don’t Forget, God Can See You Masturbating. But Don’t Stop. He’s Almost There.

I Got Jury Duty And I Didn't Want To Go, So My Friend Said, "you Should Write Something Really Really Racist On The Form When You Return It. Like, You Should Put 'i Hate Chinks'." And I Said, "i'm Not Going To Put That On There Just To Get Out Of Jury Duty. I Don't Want People To Think That About Me." So Instead I Wrote, "i Love Chinks." And Who Doesn't?

When God Gives You Aids - And God Does Give You Aids, By The Way - Make Lemonaids.

Look At The People Who Are Kind Of The Funniest Cultures, They're The Cultures Of The People Who Have Been The Most Oppressed, Black People And Jews. Not That They're The Only Funny People, But Culturally, It Comes From The Pain, You Know?

In The '80s Especially, A Lot Of Comedians Felt Compelled To Stick With What Made Them Famous And Those People Became Caricatures.