When I Was A Kid, My Nickname

When I Was A Kid, I Slept On Rubber Sheets, But Now, I'm A Man. And I Can Take The Wetness!

I Was Feeling A Bit Down, I Went To A Therapist A Few Times, At A Hundred Bucks A Pop. But Then I Realized That No Therapy Session Would Ever Cheer Me Up Half As Much As If I Was Just Strolling Along And Found A Hundred Dollar Bill.

The Irs Sent Back My Tax Return Saying I Owed $800. I Said If You'll Notice, I Sent A Paper Clip With My Return. Given What You've Been Paying For Things Lately, That Should More Than Make Up The Difference.

I Was At The Wal-mart, Which Is Where I Think Everybody Goes Eventually. If They Die Without Christ.

At My Lemonade Stand I Used To Give The First Glass Away Free And Charge Five Dollars For The Second Glass. The Refill Contained The Antidote.