When I Was A Boy The Dead

Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

I'd Rather Be Over The Hill Than Under It.

I Get Up Every Morning And Read The Obituary Column. If My Name's Not There, I Eat Breakfast.

By [age] 93, I Had Shrunk Quite A Lot. My Car Was Known As The Phantom Cadillac. People Would See It Whizzing By And They Would Swear There Was No Driver.

In What Other Business Can A Guy My Age Drink Martinis, Smoke Cigars And Sing? I Think All People Who Retire Ought To Go Into Show Business. I've Been Retired All My Life.