Whatever Helps You Sleep Is My Opinion

You Know What, When I Was Thin, I Thought There Was A Fat Girl Trying To Get Out Of Me.

The End Of My Addiction To Fame Happened At The Exact Moment Roseanne Dropped Out Of The Top Ten, In The Seventh Of Our Nine Seasons. It Was Mysteriously Instantaneous!

I Avoided Reality For Most Of My Life. But Once You Deal With It, It's Kind Of Cool.

I Didn't Know That Being In A Relationship Meant You Had To Be Nice. I Thought It Meant You Had To Hack Away At The Other Person Until They Were Beaten Down And Then Were Too Afraid To Leave.

I Used To Play Barbies With My Mormon Neighbor Friend; It Was Always, "oh, We're Going To Go On A Date. Ken's Taking Us Out, And We're Going With Ken On A Date." And I Was Like, "we're Parachuting Behind Enemy Lines To Save The Jews." That's How I Played Barbies. I Was Told When I Was A Girl That Every Jewish Woman Has To Have Five Children To Replace Three Fifths Of Our People That Were Killed. That's How I Was Raised.