What Is That Song They Are Singing

If You Fall Down Those Stairs And Break Both Of Your Legs, Don't Come Running To Me!

...then It Said On The News, "and Tonight The Prime Minister Has Just Got To Number Ten." I Looked Down At Jas And Said, "ooer." Meaning He'd Got To Number Ten On The Snogging Scale. And Then We Both Laughed Like Loons. Vati Just Looked At Us Like We Were Mad.

I Put My Arm Around Her And Said, "jas, I Have Found That When You Are Troubled, It Is Often Better To Think Of Others Rather Than Yourself. I Think You Would Feel Much Better If You Got Me Some Milky Coffee And Jammy Dodgers And I Told You All About Me.

Maybe He Overreacted A Bit." - "a Bit? That's Like Hitler Saying, 'oooh, I Just Meant To Go For A Little Walk, But Then I Accidentally Invaded Poland".

My Cousin Georgia Says That Boys Are Like Gazelles. She Says The Get Alarmed When They Get Close To Girls. And They Have To Leap Off Into The Woods Like Gazelles In Trousers. Or Have I Just Made That Up?