We've Sent A Man To The Moon

Writers Don't Retire. I Will Always Be A Writer.

I Know A Lot Of You Believe That Most People In The News Business Are Liberal. Let Me Tell You, I Know A Lot Of Them, And They Were Almost Evenly Divided This Time. Half Of Them Liked Senator Kerry; The Other Half Hated President Bush.

People Like To Say, "you're Only As Old As You Feel," But It Isn't True. It's Just Something Old People Say To Make Themselves Feel Good About Their Age. You're As Old As You Are.

One Of The Things We Can Be Sure Of Over The July 4th Weekend Is That News Reports Will Keep Telling Us How Many Of Us Are Going To Die In Automobile Accidents.

My Mother Always Called Me 'sturdy' And Said I Have Big Bones. A Little Fat Is What I Am.