We're Gonna Promote Freedom. Usher In Democratic

George Clooney Married Amal Alamuddin This Year. Amal Is A Human Rights Lawyer Who Worked On The Enron Case, Was An Advisor To Kofi Annan Regarding Syria, And Was Selected For A Three-person Commission Investigating Rules Of War Violation In The Gaza Strip. So Tonight, Her Husband Is Getting A Lifetime Achievement Award.

And Don't Think That By Eating Freedom Fries You Are Being Patriotic And Helping The War Effort. Use Less Gasoline, Read A Newspaper. You Know What, How About We Cool It With The Freedom Fries Anyway You Fat Asses. We're The Fattest Country In The World. Have You Ever Walked Around An American Mall? It's Nothing But Chick Fillets And Lane Bryant Track Suits Busting At The Seams.

North Korea Threatened To Attack If Sony Pictures Released The Interview, Forcing Us All To Pretend That We Wanted To See It.

I Hire People That Are Good, And Aren't Crazy. Or Assholes. Because That Takes Up Too Much Time. There Are Just As Many Good People Who Are Not Crazy.

Will Ferrell Is A Dangerous Man. If He Thinks You're In His Way In Show Business, He Will Crack Your Head Open. He's The Jeff Gillooly Of Comedy.