We Need More People Speaking Out. This

People On The Right Say To People Like Me, Oh, You Hate America. And I Always Say, No, I Love America. I Want It Back. I Don't Want You Representing It. I Don't Want Torture Representing It. If I Hated It, I'd Be Okay With Being Represented By The Torturers.

Hey Birthers, Wanna Hear My Theory? My Theory Was That Obama Was Born In America And You Were Born With The Umbilical Cord Around Your Neck.

There Are Two Things That You Have To Lie To Get Through. One Is Politics, And The Other Is Marriage.

Not A Lot Of People Know About Tunisia. Sarah Palin Thinks It's The Name Of One Of Obama's Kids.

I Always Wanted To Be A Comedian, Even When I Was A Little Kid. I Had A Funny Father Who Was In The News Business, By The Way. He Was A Radio News Guy. So The News Was Always In My House, And Funny Was Always In My House. It Was Sort Of Just Baked Into The Dna That I Would Do This For A Living, But I Can Remember Being Less Than 10 Years Old And Dreaming About Being A Comedian.