Vladimir Putin Bribed A Soccer Official With

New York Mayor Bill De Blasio Has Been Positioning Himself To Challenge Hillary Clinton For The Democratic Nomination. Hillary Once Developed A Program To Deliver Rural Healthcare, While De Blasio Once Dropped A Groundhog On Its Head.

Thank You Hard Taco Shells For Surviving The Long Journey From Factory, To Supermarket, To My Plate And Then Breaking The Moment I Put Something Inside You. Thank You.

This Week The Obama Administration Warned China To Remove Its Secret Agents From The U.s. Then In The Middle Of Obama's Announcement A Plant Behind Him Got Up And Walked Away.

Republican Candidate George Pataki Said His Dogs Would Give Him The Best Endorsement For Becoming Our Next President. Until They Hear Chris Christie Always Carries Bacon In His Pockets. (joke's On Them, Though, He's Never Going To Give Them Any Of That Pocket Bacon. It's What Gets Him Through Long Meetings!)

Nasa Is Developing Space Taxis To Shuttle Astronauts To The International Space Station. And Just Like New York Taxis, They're All Going To Be Driven By Aliens.