Valerie Was Crying, Too. She Was Laughing

When You Get Ready To Write Your Novel, Outline It First. There's Nothing Worse Than Getting Halfway Through And Realizing You've Painted Yourself In A Plot Corner.

The Elevator Doors Opened, And Ranger Stepped Out And Spied Tank Stretched Out On The Carpet. "fainted," I Said. Ranger Walked To Tank And Stood Hands On Hips, Staring Down At Him. "tank Doesn't Faint. I've Been In Firefights With Him. He's A Rock." "well, The Rock Fainted.

He's Going To Jail. He Can't See. He Can't Hear. He Can't Take A Leak That Lasts Under Fifteen Minutes. But He Has An Erection And All The Other Problems Are Small Change. Next Time Around I'm Coming Back As A Man. Priorities Are Clearly Defined. Life Is Simple.

I Stuck My Tongue Out At Him Because I Was Feeling Exceptionall Mature.

He [ranger] Stopped In Front Of My Parents' House, And We Both Looked To The Door. My Mother And My Grandmother Were Standing There, Watching Us. "i'm Not Sure I Feel Comfortable About The Way Your Grandma Looks At Me," Ranger Said. [stephanie] "she Wants To See You Naked." "i Wish You Hadn't Told Me That, Babe." "everyone I Know Wants To See You Naked." "and You?" "never Crossed My Mind." I Held My Breath When I Said It, And I Hoped God Wouldn't Stike Me Down Dead For Lying.