Truthfully, With The Republicans, I Don't See

While I Have The Utmost Respect For People Who Practice The Christian Faith, The Fact Is, As Everyone Knows, I Am As Jewish As A Matzo Ball Or Kosher Salami.

Eighty Percent Of Married Men Cheat In America. The Rest Cheat In Europe.

I Am Excited About Getting Back To What I Do Best And What My Audience Likes Best, I Am Writing New Jokes Every Day And Soon Ill Be Telling Them Every Night. Just Me, One Jew Talking And That's It.

I've Got Another Friend Who Is Half-german And Half-polish. He Hates Jews But Can't Remember Why!

America Is The Only Country In The World Where You Can Burn The Flag But Can't Tear The Tag Off The Mattress.