To Put It Kindly, I Am A

If You Are Going To Ask Your Crush For Their Phone Number, You Are One Of The Small Group Of Women I Am So Jealous Of.

In Psychology (okay, Twilight) They Teach You About The Notion Of Imprinting, And I Think It Applies Here. I Reverse-imprinted With Athleticism. Ours Is The Great Non-love Story Of My Life.

I Fall Into That Nebulous, Quote-unquote, Normal American Woman Size That Legions Of Fashion Stylists Detest. For The Record, I'm A Size 8 - This Week, Anyway. Many Stylists Hate That Size Because I Think To Them, It Shows That I Lack The Discipline To Be An Ascetic; Or The Confident, Sassy Abandon To Be A Total Fatty Hedonist.

What I've Noticed Is That Almost No One Who Was A Big Star In High School Is Also Big Star Later In Life. For Us Overlooked Kids, It's So Wonderfully Fair.

My Whole Childhood Was Like: Work Hard, Be Quiet, Respect Elderly People, Respect Your Parents, And Just Be Unobtrusive.