To Be Human Is Erroneous.

To Me All Men Are Equal: There Are Jackasses Everywhere, And I Have The Same Contempt For Them All.

Morality Is The Tendency To Pour Out The Baby With The Bathwater.

A Pun, Though Despicable In Itself, Can Be The Noblest Vehicle Of An Artistic Intention By Serving As The Abbreviation Of A Wittyview. It Can Be A Social Criticism In The Form Of An Epigram.

Matrimony Is The Union Of Meanness And Martyrdom.

Today's Literature: Prescriptions Written By Patients.