To Be Honest, I Tend To Romanticize

Maybe That's Why I Don't Like Religion Because The First Introduction To It Was, You Don't Get To Do That Thing You Just Discovered That You Really Enjoy.

Yeah, I've Been A Little Down. Totally Natural. I'm Getting A Divorce, But Now I'm Ready To Pull Myself Up By Some G-strings.

I Was 18 When I Started. I Was Hanging Out With Some Friends And They Asked If I Had Tried Stand-up Before. I Hadn't, But I Thought: 'what The Hell?' So I Went To An Open Mic Night, And I Liked It.

I Spend So Much Time On The Internet...i Feel Like I'm A Million Pages Into The Worst Book Ever, And I'm Never Going To Stop Reading.

I Strapped An Mp3 Player To One Of Those Floor-cleaning Robots. Call Him Dj Roomba - Little Guy Cruises Around And Plays Music. What's Hot, Dj Roomba!