Tic Tacs Are The Maracas Of Breath

And Of Course I Didn't Make Any Money From Stand Up For Years, So I Had Temp Jobs. That Was The Way I Made Money.

Why Are There Not Positive Mysteries? It's Always Who Stole The Diamond, Or Who Killed The Butler? How About... Who Made Cookies, Somebody Cleaned My Room.

Usually My Favorite Joke Is Whichever Joke I Most Recently Came Up With That Surprised Me The First Time I Thought Of It.

If I Could Control The Behavior Of Fat Guys I Would Make Them Ride Mopeds More Often.

I Want To Make A Revolving Door That Says 'pull' On It, Just See How Obedient People Are.