They Determined Who Got The First Question

Rick Perry Unveiled His New Tax Plan. He Says He Wants A Flat Tax. He Believes That Tax Should Be Flat, Just Like The Earth.

In His First Speech As Speaker, Boehner Thanked His Loved Ones - Tobacco Lobbyists, The Oil Companies, The Ceos.

I Wanted To Have A Career In Sports When I Was Young, But I Had To Give Up The Idea. I'm Only Six Feet Tall, So I Couldn't Play Basketball. I'm Only 190 Pounds, So I Couldn't Play Football, And I Have 20/20 Vision, So I Couldn't Be A Referee.

The Leaders Of The Taliban Said Today That Killing Bin Laden Won't Solve The Problem. But, You Know, It Couldn't Hurt.

Soup Is Just A Way Of Screwing You Out Of A Meal.