There's Nothing Undignified About Lying About All

The Only Reason I Would Have Liked To Have Gone To University Is Because I Like Cricket. Not A Very Good Reason To Want To Go, But As Good As Any, I Suppose.

A Lot Of Girls Annoy Me Who Go To University - One Girl Told Me She Was Going To Oxford Because It Was Something To Do Between Leaving School And Getting Married. And I've Got To Pay For That Being An Income Tax Payer.

It's Not Name Dropping, But Not Many People Can Say, Like Me, That They Spent The Day With The Likes Of Francis Bacon Or That Boring Drunk Dylan Thomas. You Don't Forget Things Like That.

Oh, The Self-importance Of Fading Stars. Never Mind, They Will Be Black Holes One Day.

Oh, To Me Not Drinking Is Like Being Dead, Almost. I Sit Here Taking Endless Journeys Down Memory Lane. It Gets Boring.