There's Always Somebody Older, Richer, More Desperate

I Stay Positive Because It's The Only Way To Live. When I Play Ball, I Play Hardball.

There's A Lot More To Life Than How Fat Or Thin You Are.

I Have A Hotline To The Tabloids. When I Get Up In The Morning, I Call The Star, And The Last Thing At Night, I Call Them. I Want Them To Have The Inside Track.

The Reason I Went For Jenny Craig Is I Thought, Maybe I'm Not The Only One Who Has Stupid Reasons For Getting Fat.

To Tell You The Honest-to-god Truth: Without Scientology, I Would Be Dead. So, I Can Personally Highly Recommend It.