There Is Nothing Sadder In This World

Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That's What You're Looking For, Go Live With A Car Battery.

A Grandparent Will Help You With Your Buttons, Your Zippers, And Your Shoelaces And Not Be In Any Hurry For You To Grow Up.

Spend At Least One Mother's Day With Your Respective Mothers Before You Decide On Marriage. If A Man Gives His Mother A Gift Certificate For A Flu Shot, Dump Him.

A Grandparent Is The Only Baby-sitter Who Doesn't Charge More After Midnight - Or Anything Before Midnight.

I Have Always Felt That Too Much Time Was Given Before The Birth, Which Is Spent Learning Things Like How To Breathe In And Out With Your Husband (i Had My Baby When They Gave You A Shot In The Hip And You Didn't Wake Up Until The Kid Was Ready To Start School), And Not Enough Time Given To How To Mother After The Baby Is Born.