There Is No Chiropractic Treatment, No Yoga

Between The Ages Of Twenty And Fifty, John Doe Spends Some Twenty Thousand Hours Chewing And Swallowing Food, More Than Eight Hundred Days And Nights Of Steady Eating. The Mere Contemplation Of This Fact Is Upsetting Enough.

Hunger Is More Than A Problem Of Belly And Guts, And ... The Satisfying Of It Can And Must And Does Nourish The Spirit As Well As The Body.

There Is A Mistaken Idea, Ancient But Still With Us, That An Overdose Of Anything From Fornication To Hot Chocolate Will Teach Restraint By The Very Results Of Its Abuse.

In Spite Of My Conviction That A Group Of Deliberately Assembled Relatives Can Be One Of The Dullest, If Not Most Dangerous, Gatherings In The World, I Am Smugly Foolhardly Enough To Have Invited All My Available Family, More Than Once, To Dine With Me.

Dining Partners, Regardless Of Gender, Social Standing, Or The Years They've Lived, Should Be Chosen For Their Ability To Eat - And Drink! - With The Right Mixture Of Abandon And Restraint. They Should Enjoy Food, And Look Upon Its Preparation And Its Degustation As One Of The Human Arts.