There Are Two Kinds Of People I

Ivory's The Kind Of Girl Who Gets Drunk And Immediately Starts Slurring. I Have A Lot Of Friends Like That, And I Think It's Because It Makes Me Look 'more Together.

I Would Never Get Married While My Father Is Still Alive Because I Wouldn't Want Him To Walk Me Down The Aisle.

You Do Not Own A Dog. You Have A Dog. And The Dog Has You

People Always Tell Me I Need To Have A Kid, And I Say, No, I Don't. Because I Wouldn't Have Just One Kid; I'd Have Six. I Need A Huge Family. So I Just Kind Of Fill My House With Tons Of Rejects And Misfits So It Feels Like I Have A Bunch Of Children.

I Think We Can All Agree That Sleeping Around Is A Great Way To Meet People.