Then A Homeless Man With A Dog

I'm Not Going To Blow Up Just For The Sake Of It, Because It's On Tv. That's Not The Issue.

They Travel In Groups. You Never See An Asian By Their Self.

Nothing Is More American Than Stuffing Your Face With Loaded Potato Skins While Drinking Loaded Mudslides.

It's Like Being A Stand-up Comedian Is What Leads To Being A Talk-show Host. That Life Is Not Cut Out For A Woman, Being On The Road At These Disgusting Hotels. What Girls Want To Do That? Gross Guys Want To Do That. I Think That The Dearth In Female Comics Is Just The Nature Of The Business, But There Certainly Isn't A Dearth Anymore, So I Think It's Just Silly.

I Think Everyone's Afraid Of Public Speaking. There Have Been Times Where I've Come Out Of My Own Show And Been Like, 'oh, God, What Am I Doing?' . . . You Have To Remind Yourself That 'ok, I'm Kind Of A Badass. I Can Handle It.'